“I just want to be forgiven.” The desire for true forgiveness is something that everyone experiences.  Carrying the weight of error, bad decisions, and   broken relationships can be too much to bear alone. Last week, I visited with a young man who I will call Tony to      protect his identity.
     As I entered the room, I spoke to the group and asked, “Does anyone needed to speak with the Chaplain?” Tony raised his hand. We grabbed a couple of chairs; sat and talked. Tony has been in the facility for about two weeks and was from out of state.
     As we sat, I asked, “How can I help you?”
     He answered, “I need prayer for forgiveness.” He did not stop there but he continued to say, “I need forgiveness, I want my parents to forgive me and I want God to save my parents.”
    I sat and just listened to this young man as he cried out for another chance. We know that those who are weary and heavy-laden can find rest in Jesus Christ. Of course, I prayed with him and I also commended him because he not only took responsibility for the wrong he did, but he exhibited an unselfish prayer for his family as well. Even the way in which he went about it was commendable, starting with his desire to get himself right first. This is something that we all can learn; we are not perfect. We as believers need to exercise our liberty to come before the throne of grace seeking mercy and finding grace to help us when we need it. He then requested that his parents forgive him. Realizing that he had hurt and disappointed his parents, he desired to hear it from them.
     It is important to forgive others when they have wronged us and also tell them they are forgiven to provide closure. This is often the only way an individual can move forward. Life without forgiveness is a life lived in the past. Forgiveness is one of the first steps of reconciliation.
     Let me share this: reconciliation is the fruit of effective intercession. Intercession is performed by Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and all believers throughout Scripture. Jesus is our advocate and  intercedes on our behalf to the Father. We are told in 1 John 2:1 that if we sin, we have an   advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. The Holy Spirit intercedes for the believers as we do not know what to pray. Beyond that, all believers are told to pray for all people. We are not only to pray for our families as believers, but also for leaders, the unsaved, and those who have wronged us. Reconciliation of relationships was the thing that Tony was seeking.
     I request that you keep Tony in your prayers as he seeks restoration with his family.  Let’s also keep His parents in prayer because it may be difficult for them to completely forgive their son, but with God’s help we can have confidence that it is all possible. Something that I believe we can learn from Tony is that we need to reconcile relationships that are broken in our lives. When Jesus laid down his life for our sins, he interceded for us and paid the price so that we may live. Yes, the price that was paid was not cheap for our Lord and it is even the more reason we should forgive, intercede and be reconciled with those closest to us.
     Be reconciled and be blessed.

   I was walking through the halls on a Saturday morning, and came across a few residents outside on a unit rotation.  The weather was warm and many of the kids inside seemed restless. I sat and spoke with a young man whom I will call Terry. (name changed for privacy) We talked for about half an hour. Terry is a slender young man and he was speaking about losing weight.  
I didn’t know why he thought he needed to lose weight.
     Terry kept saying, “If a person is overweight it’s because they have no will power . . . It’s the same as cigarettes.”
     So I explained to him that his conclusion is not necessarily true. I asked him, “Is the reason you are in the facility due to a lack of will power?” 
     He said, “No, I have a real problem”. 
     I explained that there are those who may have a medical  condition which leads to weight gain, some could be poor eating habits, some could be because of the type of medicine they are prescribed, and others are dealing with other issues such as depression. 
     “That’s why they have heart attacks because they are overweight.” Terry replied.
      I told him, “You don’t have to be overweight to have a heart attack.”  He just looked at me as if he didn’t understand the simple fact that I had shared.
     It seems that many times we can get to a point in our lives where we make excuses for our own behaviors, but lack compassion when it comes to considering others. This is where Terry is stuck, insisting that his problems are due to a ‘real problem’ while those around him are simply lacking in will power. Terry and I have had conversations like this before. He tends to speak with confidence on subjects he has limited knowledge of and spreads that information to anyone who will listen.
      Like so many of the youth in this facility, Terry has had his life shattered by the things he has experienced. Broken pieces have a tendency to cut those who encounter them, depending on how  
      we handle them.  How would you handle
Terry?  How do you show compassion while also correcting error?  How   carefully do you handle broken  pieces in the lives of those around you?  Just a few questions to think about as   we continue to help pick up the pieces.
 

       Walking through the facilities on my most recent visit I spoke with several children. One conversation on this day stood out the most. A young man asked me an intriguing question.
     “Is it OK to cry?”
     “Yes,” I responded, “crying is an emotion and even Jesus Himself cried.”
     He said, “When I feel like crying in the unit I try not to because everyone picks on me when I do.”  He went on to share that the other boys look at it as  a sign of weakness. 
     “Yes, I can see how that could happen.” I replied, “But I cry too and it is nothing to be embarrassed about.”
     Then I began to encourage him by sharing scriptures about that very topic.   I told him about Job; how he lost all of his children and for many days he cried. Also, I shared how Job’s friends responded by going to his location. They comforted him initially by just sitting with him and crying.  As I shared a Biblical perspective on crying, the young man had a look of relief on his face as if a weight was removed. 
     I went on to explain that we are told to rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those that weep. This passage in Romans reaffirms our call as believers to relationships with one another which are motivated by compassion, not ridicule nor mocking. So I shared a few more verses to comfort him to let him know that he was not alone with respect to expressing his emotions.
     Being angry, crying, and rejoicing are all emotions that are permitted and we are not to feel bad for expressing any of them. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4).  I reminded him that the Lord is here with us to comfort us when we need him the most and He is faithful to His word. The young man thanked me for sharing with him and let me know that he felt better.
    I want to ask you a question today- what do we tell our boys or young men about expressing their emotions? All too often in residential facilities we see scared boys hiding behind false bravado. Let’s remember to show our young men that our emotion is not strange nor a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
     Yes, it’s OK to cry.