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“Pieces” Part I

4/15/2019

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     Have you ever walked on broken glass?  Do you remember the sound and the feeling as it cracked under your feet? During my last visit, I experienced an unusual amount of distress from many of the residents.  It reminded me of those broken pieces of glass that I had walked on after breaking a window when I was young. I want to invite you to take a walk with me through a residential facility- a walk through halls of broken glass.
     My first stop was in one of the male units during lunch time. Most of the young men were on the unit. I was even able to meet some of the children that are usually in the school building. They were happy to see me. After greeting them, they shared what has been going on lately. I showed them some pages from the 'Action Bible,' and they loved it. However, one of the young men that I talked to was very upset. Darren was complaining that he didn’t have the clothes that his mother had sent him. (name changed for privacy) He accused the staff of keeping the clothes from him on purpose as a punishment. I had not seen Darren so agitated before, so I stood by and listened even as I engaged with the other children. The bell rang and Darren refused to go to class until he got his clothes. He sat down, crossed his arms, and didn’t move. The rest of his peers returned to class leaving only three young men in the room.   I called Darren over to me. I told him to always give the benefit of the doubt to others because we don’t always know everything that is happening with that individual. My intent was not to make up an excuse but to help the young man have compassion even through his own pain. 
     “The staff may have forgotten with everything else going on in the units.” 
      Darren responded, “No, she is doing this on purpose.” 
     “Who are you hurting by not going to class?”
     “Nobody.”
     I told him that he was only hurting himself. "Just because you are not    getting your  way, you shouldn’t create more problems for yourself by missing school. School is something that will only benefit you in the long run. Never give people power over your own life so much that you close doors of opportunity."
      Darren thanked me, and turned to his staff. "I need to go to class."
     Have you ever been there before?  Have you judged the motives of others and just the thoughts alone made you act in ways that you we normally would not do?  I remember a verse that Paul penned, “Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts, and then each man's praise will come to him from God.” 1 Corinthians 4:5. Let’s remember that only God can judge the motives of the hearts of men. I believe this would help us to walk with compassion and build relationships. 
     Next month we will continue our walk through halls of broken glass. We go and minister in these places with one goal in mind- to help pick up the pieces.  

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Is it OK to Cry?

4/2/2019

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       Walking through the facilities on my most recent visit I spoke with several children. One conversation on this day stood out the most. A young man asked me an intriguing question.
     “Is it OK to cry?”
     “Yes,” I responded, “crying is an emotion and even Jesus Himself cried.”
     He said, “When I feel like crying in the unit I try not to because everyone picks on me when I do.”  He went on to share that the other boys look at it as  a sign of weakness. 
     “Yes, I can see how that could happen.” I replied, “But I cry too and it is nothing to be embarrassed about.”
     Then I began to encourage him by sharing scriptures about that very topic.   I told him about Job; how he lost all of his children and for many days he cried. Also, I shared how Job’s friends responded by going to his location. They comforted him initially by just sitting with him and crying.  As I shared a Biblical perspective on crying, the young man had a look of relief on his face as if a weight was removed. 
     I went on to explain that we are told to rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those that weep. This passage in Romans reaffirms our call as believers to relationships with one another which are motivated by compassion, not ridicule nor mocking. So I shared a few more verses to comfort him to let him know that he was not alone with respect to expressing his emotions.
     Being angry, crying, and rejoicing are all emotions that are permitted and we are not to feel bad for expressing any of them. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4).  I reminded him that the Lord is here with us to comfort us when we need him the most and He is faithful to His word. The young man thanked me for sharing with him and let me know that he felt better.
    I want to ask you a question today- what do we tell our boys or young men about expressing their emotions? All too often in residential facilities we see scared boys hiding behind false bravado. Let’s remember to show our young men that our emotion is not strange nor a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
     Yes, it’s OK to cry.
 

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    Sean A. Wilson

    Sean is a retired Army Veteran and resides in Waynesville, Missouri with his wife and children. Sean is a local Pastor and an active community servant leader.  He loves to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. With his call into the facilities he visits, that's the message he stands true to communicate. As a compassionate Father, Husband, and Pastor his goal is to just make a difference one life at a time.

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