Questions Kids Ask

Shoestring Guns

8/24/2015

I wish I could tell you this was the first time. Less than a month ago marks the third kid in one year I’ve met that has tried to hang them self off of an industrial shower rod by using a shoestring. This child had a groove dug around his jugular.

                I came into the cottage and asked the youth worker, “Is there any kid needing special spiritual attention?”

                She looked at me and said, “_________ over there just tried to kill himself last night. He would have been successful if we hadn’t got to him. It’d be really nice if you could talk to him.”

                I sat down with him playing with Lego’s as I gazed on the lacerations around his neck caused by the shoestring garrote. I said, “Hey man, what’s up?”

                “Oh, not much. Well, I guess I did try to kill myself last night.” He seemed freakishly jovial.

                “What made you feel that way?”

                All happy expressions melted from his face immediately. “I really don’t want to talk about it at all. Can we just play Lego’s now? I’m sick of people trying to get me to talk. I just want to play right now!”

                In my mind I was having a conversation with God that went like this: “What in the world do you want me to say, or ask to this kid right now? I have no idea what I need to do. Please help me God, I feel like I’m in uncharted and troubled waters here. This kid could die if he doesn’t get the right help.” I just felt God putting on my heart to spend time with this kid. We played Lego’s on the floor for an hour or so, and then he asked me if I could go get my guitar. I thought, “If this kid wants to play guitar, by golly, I’ll drive down to the chapel and bring my guitar up to him.” So we played guitar for the rest of the afternoon time I had with him.

                After I got home, I expressed a request on our Days of Hope confidential prayer hotline about this kid, “Please pray for a suicidal kid in a residential facility.”

One lady replied, “He is in pain, and can’t stop the pain.” Immediately I felt the Holy Spirit take me back to a scene in a war movie. A tank was hit by an armor-piercing explosive. A soldier jumps out engulfed in flames. He’s screaming and fumbling around furiously for his gun, and then he shoots himself in the head.

It was like God saying, “That’s exactly how this boy feels because of all the abuse and trauma he’s been through. He’s not just in pain, he’s on fire. That’s why he’s reaching for a gun, the only gun he can find…a shoestring.”

The Questions Kids Ask

4/16/2015

This question was asked by a young man really having a rough time being in residential placement.

Question #13: He took me by the hand and asked, “Does God plan everything?.....I mean everything?!”

                My brain fumbled between man’s freewill in contrast to God’s control, and then I felt the Holy Spirit tug at my heart that none of these answer this young man’s question. So I thought I should talk it over with Jon first so I don’t say something destructively stupid. So I told him, “I’ll have to get back to you on this one. I don’t know how much of the stuff that happens to us is in God’s control and how much is of our own making. But I know God has a plan for your life. See you Tuesday, bud.”

                So I shot Jon the question and he said, “Well you know what the kid’s really asking?”

                I nodded like I knew the answer and said, “Uh-huh, but I want to hear your take.”

                “He’s saying that if God plans everything, then why is God the author of all the bad stuff that happened to him. If God planned that stuff to happen, that makes God the villain of his story.”

                Whew. Yup, Jon’s right, but in my heart I’m thinking, “What in the world do you do with that?” I’ll never forget my apologetics professor, who was teaching us how to defend the truth of the Gospel, and the number one hard question to answer was, “If God is so good, why do bad things happen to good people?” The week he started teaching on this question, his son tragically died in a car wreck, leaving a wife and two kids. It was just like a full-frontal assault of Satan on this man. You could see the “Why God?” tattooed on all our faces for the rest of the semester.

                The bitter reality is that we’re born in a foxhole. We’re broken and wounded by just being in the flesh on this planet, and we have an enemy that has no mercy on women and children. Does God want people to go to hell, kids to be molested, and parents starting their children on heroin? Of course not, but it happens. The other side of being born in a foxhole with an enemy against our souls is that we also have a God who is a perfect gentleman that does not force himself upon anyone, and loves us with unfettered tenacity.

God has a plan…a rescue plan. He truly desires all men to come to repentance, but not all men do (read 1st Timothy 2:4). He’s provided and paid for all of us to be completely rescued from the dominion of darkness, but we have to receive it by faith. The choice is ours, but none of us would have made that choice if it wasn’t God’s plan. My Old Testament professor said, “God is so sovereign (in control) that he built freewill into the system.”

Another aspect that many don’t look at or acknowledge is that we are called to help the helpless, show mercy, give compassion, and take a stand against evil. Edmund Burke said it well, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Maybe if more believers wouldn’t let the pain of this world and their own insecurities cut the sinews of the muscles that empower compassion, then fewer kids in this world would be asking this question.

Beware of a Fraudulent Agent

2/5/2015

Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” ESV

                Every person has a price they’re willing to pay for peace. Many times it can be the wrong price paid in the wrong place, yielding disastrous results. I’ll never forget when a friend had a rental property burn down. He filed his claim with the insurance company, but found the agent committed fraud by pocketing the cash and never purchasing the home owners policy. My friend lost the entire investment.

                God makes the equation on peace so simple that a busy mind is quick to miss it: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you…” That means that his/her thoughts are fixed and focused on God. How does a person go about fixing and focusing their thoughts on God? The book of Isaiah says, “…because he trusts in you.” So thoughts, especially the ones that have deep grooves, big trenches, and large highways through our mind are forged, funneled, and built by what we perceive to be deemed most worthy of our trust.

                This is a good time to think about your thoughts. Some of our thought patterns might be built on misplaced trust like my friend had in that fraudulent agent. If you don’t have peace, start by asking yourself, “What do I really trust in?” It’s easy to misplace our trust in the fraudulent agent of our flesh, Satan, or the world. If life is flooded by worrying about money, health, and stuff, it’s because of putting too much trust in those things, which in turn is fueling an unhealthy focus of the mind.

                Do you want perfect peace in your life? The price you must pay for perfect peace is trust in God. Start by asking God to help you trust him in the areas that you have an especially hard time surrendering.

What's in Your Pack

1/22/2015

Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us…” ESV

                There are times to be critical. Backpacking is one of those. You need to make wise decisions about what you’re going to stuff in your pack when journeying through the wilderness for any extended period of time. The finesse is when you have enough gear to get through, balanced out by not being weighed down to the point you’re miserable, and the trip goes great.

                Your mind is like the backpack for the journey of life. I was reading about ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts patterns) that really mess with, if not ruin your life. According to Dr. Daniel Amen there are nine ANTs to vigilantly watch for: Always/never thinking, focusing on the negative, fortune telling what you think will happen, mind reading what others are thinking of you, thinking with your feelings, guilt-beating yourself with “should-must-always-ought to” kinds of thoughts, labeling, personalizing, and blaming.

                Negative thought patterns are like cramming rocks into a backpack. When I read the ANT-list, I decided it was time for every single ANT to be out of the backpack of my mind. All they do is weigh you down and make you miserable for this wonderful adventure of life God has given us.

                Many times negative thought patterns stem from and are strengthened by deeply held wrong beliefs people have about themselves. These are lies (that feel like truth) people cling to because of past hurts/wounding. Ask God to show you if there are any wounds that fuel present negative thought patterns. John Eldredge has a free resource for this kind of healing at www.ransomedheart.com.

                You’re in the jungle. What thoughts are sandbagging your mind? Romans 12:1-2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 will help you pack.

It's in the Pantry

1/1/2015

John 6:68-69 “Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.’” ESV

                My wife said, “I’m going to the grocery store. We’re out of milk and everything else. I’ll be back in an hour. Please have the kids make cornbread.”

                “No problemo.” I replied.

                Ten minutes after she leaves the kids yell, “Dad! We can’t make the cornbread.”

                “It’s a box mix!”

              “Dad we can’t. It says we need two-thirds cup of milk.”

                I’m thinking to myself, “Maybe we’ve got some powdered milk in the pantry.” I look and don’t find any. I give up the search; and with that…the cornbread.

                Then my wife called and I told her that the kids weren’t able to make cornbread because we didn’t have any milk. Then she said, “Why don’t you use the powdered milk? It’s in the pantry.”

                Now my search took on whole new meaning. I knew there had to be powdered milk in the pantry! My tenacity gained teeth to tear into that pantry armed with knowledge and belief.

                The cornbread was fantastic.

                The moral to the story is that God has a promise and an answer in his pantry for every single battle, struggle, circumstance, and problem that you would ever face. Don’t lose heart and give up by not knowing what God’s word says about your situation. Peter could’ve said it like this, “Jesus, we know you’re the pantry of life. Where else could we go to find life but you?”

Get Tenacious about finding life’s answers in God. Healing, provision, and victory are in God’s pantry built with by his promises. 2 Corinthians 1:20, “For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.”

His Nature Made Peace with Ours

12/18/2014

  Ephesians 2:14 “For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility…” ESV

I was taking our new dog for a walk. He saw something and bolted fast enough that I lost hold of the leash. I called, but he was gone.

            The previous owner of this Cairn Terrier had said, “Watch him, he’s a ‘Toto’ dog, like out of The Wizard of Oz, and you remember Dorothy don’t you? Chasing her dog?” I must have muted the warning bells, because as I was walking out the door she threw in a barking shock-collar and said in a sweet southern accent, “And you might need this too honey.”

            Now I found myself driving in the car with my daughter looking for this pooch. After a long search, I got mad and threw one of the homemade dog-biscuits my daughter had made out the window and said, “Fine! If that stupid dog doesn’t want to be at our house, serves him right! I’m done looking.”

            Crocodile tears rolled off my daughter’s cheeks. I said, “Okay, okay, we’ll take one more trip.”

            Low and behold, right where I’d thrown that biscuit was our dog. Then it occurred to me: My daughter adopted this dog and I hadn’t yet. To me, it’s just a dog; to my daughter it’s family. I needed to adopt him too if this was going to work.

            We have a flesh-nature part of us that will never want to obey God’s law until we are made new (1 Corinthians 15:52). You can even use a shock-collar on yourself, but it won’t change it. The good news is that God adopted you by making peace with your nature so he could love you permanently. This love frees us to repent and run to God when we mess up instead of run away from him.

Go Figure

12/11/2014

George Dantzig

Hebrews 11:4 “By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead.” ESV
  George Dantzig was late one morning for class at Berkley. Two problems were written on the board. In a rush he assumed they were homework.

                Two days later George handed in the answers to Professor Neyman saying, “Sorry these took so long. I thought they were harder than usual.”

                The following Sunday Neyman knocked on George’s door at eight o’clock in the morning. George was then informed that he’d actually solved what was known as two of the most famous unsolved equations for statistics.

                When I read the passage in Hebrews about God accepting Abel’s offering and counting him as righteous, I thought, “Now God looked at Abel as a man in good standing with him because his offering was right. Abel had offered his best lamb. If God considered Abel righteous (in good standing) for his lamb, how much more righteous are we in Jesus our lamb?”

                That’s how God solved the equation of restoring our broken humanity and making us complete. Now we need to take that answer into every single broken part of the landscape of our life.

What could you do if tomorrow you wake up and see yourself perfectly whole, not tethered by the baggage of your past, and not hindered by the splinters in your mind caused by guilt and shame? I’m guessing if that reality was lived out in your life, God would use you to solve the impossible. Not only the impossible in your life, but in the lives of many others.

Don’t let the seemingly inescapable stress and struggles of today put a lid on your future. Remember, nothing is impossible with God and you can do all things through Christ (Luke 1:37 & Philippians 4:13).

Strength to Hold On

11/4/2014

Romans 8:23-24 “And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?” ESV

                In 1999 Google offered to sell for 750,000 dollars. The company’s now worth 350 billion, putting founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin on the top-twenty list of richest people in the world. To put it in perspective, they own fourteen percent of the company. If they would’ve sold out, they’re cut would’ve been half of a 105K, around fifty-two grand each. This year alone both made approximately thirty-two billion. I wonder if they reminisce about 1999 and shiver.

                You may feel like you want to give up on faith, but hold on, because your payoff will make Larry and Sergey’s look like chump change. Google sure didn’t see what they were really going to be worth in ten years, and maybe because of your present situation and struggles you don’t see what your faith is worth.

Romans eight says, “For who hopes for what he sees?” Maybe you’re not feeling like you’re seeing personal growth as a Christian. But if your faith is in Christ, you are God’s beloved child. Satan assaults our identity by trying to get us to sell out through unbelief in God’s ability to save and by placing confidence in our own ability to obey.

You’re bought with a price that not one shred of your own effort could ever merit God’s adoption (Read 1 Peter 1:18-19). Look at the future God’s grace bought: 1 John 3:2, “Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.”

Eat Better Than Your Dog

11/3/2014

Isaiah 55:2 “Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.” ESV

                The previous owner said, “Make sure you feed him this brand of dog food, or it’ll be bad.”

                Later at the store I almost fell over, “Fourteen bucks for five pounds! I could buy pork steak cheaper.” A clerk then showed me a thirty-pound bag for forty bucks.

                I carefully measured a precious portion in front of the dog. He spent the day sniffing under my table, but not eating what I’d sacrificed my pork steak for.

I told the pooch, “You’re going to eat that.”

I instructed the family not to feed him one table scrap. Two days later, he eats.

Did you know that the fur, skin, teeth, and even temperament of a dog are affected by what you feed them? So…are not even our pets worth the good stuff?

                If I don’t feed my dog right, he’ll get hot-spot rashes and smell horrible. If I don’t eat right spiritually I’ll make rash decisions, be cranky with my kids, and I’ll contaminate my relationships because of selfish sin.

God’s richest food for us is free, but isn’t cheap. For us to have the fruit of the Spirit, God gave it all. We can drink from waters of grace bought by the blood of Christ so we don’t have to go to the eternal hot-spot. We eat the bread of heaven by knowing God.

                Our flesh will naturally crave worldly table-scraps of sin. In this battle, be good to yourself by asking God to help you crave the holy. God feeds his kids well. He places a table of eternal satisfaction before us: It’s the life that Christ died for you to live.

                God believed you were totally worth it.